Sunday, August 07, 2005

Planet Thin

OMG! My MIL didn't comment on my newly flat chest!! Hmmm, I wonder if it had anything to do with the padded bra I just so happened to wear?! I just wanted to see if it would make a difference, if she would make a snide remark regardless of how I actually look. So I've determined that she's not trying to be completely malicious, she just calls em as she sees em and apparently lacks that little inner voice that tells us all when to shut the hell up before we say something stupid or hurtful. My husband lacks that voice as well, I guess he comes by it honest. I also feel that I should delve into how completely ridiculous it is that I should even own a padded bra in the first place. I mean come on! A padded bra? This from a former 48DD! I never could have imagined that I would ever own such a thing, much less have need for one. In fact there are lots of things I could never have imagined I'd be faced with now. Like I never knew that it would be just as difficult to find clothing sizes in 4/6 small as it was in 30/32 3 or 4x! I assumed there would be racks and racks of these sizes in the skinny girl stores. But now I realize that what they stock the most of is the average sizes like 8/10 or 12/14. Leave it to me to be on one end of the spectrum or the other, it's like I can't just happily settle for something in between. And then, of course, I can't believe I even have to nerve to bitch about such a thing! You'd think I'd be happy with what I have and learn to shut the hell up! Here's another weird little thing that I never considered before; trying to shave the cavernous pits beneath my arms now has turned into some sort of expedition in spelunking! Is this normal? Do thin people find it difficult to maneuver their razors effectively in this area? I dunno, but I definitely never had this problem when I was fat. Also, my butt hurts when I sit too long now, the seatbelt rubs at my collarbone in the most irritating way, and I'm always freaking freezing! Damn, I could go on and on, but I won't because I absolutely despise whining and therefore, cannot allow it to continue. ;) But I wonder if thin people ever notice these things? Or is it because they've always been thin that they don't even think about this stuff, because these things have always been normal to them? Interesting, I've often wondered what it must be like inside a naturally thin person's head. Their's is such a foreign world to me that I feel like I'm just an awkward tourist who doesn't really know the language or the laws, and I'm desperately hoping someone doesn't realize that I don't belong here and try to kick me out. Well, I guess those skinny bitches would have quite a fight on their hands because I'm not about to leave planet thin quietly, they'd have to drag me out of here kicking and screaming the whole way!

Alright brain, it's dinner time, let's go find something more constructive to do!


Blogger Amy said...

I can relate to all that "How do skinny people deal with this?" commentary, as a newly-minted skinny person myself. I wonder what I did when I was skinny in high school? It never really crossed my mind. My armpits were my armpits, and I never thought they're be easier to shave if I "filled 'em out." Though now... there are always those few hairs hiding in the shadows ;-)

10:36 AM  

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