Thursday, July 28, 2005

In a funk.

I'm feeling quite defeated right now, and not much like writing again. I have so much I want to say, exciting news, a disappointing change in plans, a new addition to the family (kittens!), yet when I feel beaten down by another "lecture" all I want to do is curl up and hide behind my impenetrable walls of social seclusion and allow myself to be overwhelmed into immobility by the well of emotions I seem incapable of expressing. I want to write about all the stuff that's going on in my life right now, but all I can think about is how I wish things were different. So I feel like I'm not being true to myself if I just pretend not to see the elephant in the room, and allow myself to ramble about the more unimportant things in life. But the problem is, I don't want to think about that damn elephant, so I just don't do anything at all! I hate feeling helpless and overwhelmed! And I don't have to feel this way, I just allow myself to as an excuse to not have to do anything about it. I guess I'm just going to cut this post short and give myself some time to get out of the funk I'm currently in. But I'll be back to post about all my exciting, and not so exciting happenings tomorrow.


Anonymous Jilly said...

I'm sorry you feel that way, Beverly, and even sorrier that you can't address or attempt to change the situation. I can't give you any suggestions or advice, so I'll just give my unwavering support in any way I can. On a personal note, I resent that "elephant" because it prevents me from knowing the exciting (and mundane) news, change in plans, pet additions and everything else I enjoy reading in this blog.

I'll take my leave now and let you do whatever you do to get yourself out of these funks. If it helps you feel less overwhelmed and helpless to know there's people "out there" who believe in you and feel you're proven yourself a strong and determined woman, then please let that seep deep inside you.

I'm off on vacation tomorrow and will miss your blog entries, but will catch up in a couple of weeks. In the meantime, I'll send good vibes your way from Kentucky (which is a heck of a lot closer than the Great White North). Take care, my dear.

8:06 PM  

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