Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Forever different.

There's been some discussion in the Maintainer's forum at 3fc about how people who have been morbidly obese and are now thin are metabolically different from naturally thin people. How we have to exercise more and eat less just to maintain the same weight as a naturally thin person. Our bodies don't burn calories and fat in the same way and our metabolisms are typically slower. All because we were once obese and now we're not. Sometimes I'm appalled at just how badly I've screwed up my body. I mean, what was I thinking, treating it like crap for all those years? Never once considering the long term consequences of my behavior. Sure, I figured if I lost weight one day I'd be thin and healthy and all would be right with the world, but I never thought that the damage I was doing would be so irreversible. My body is forever changed, for the rest of my life my body will never function in a "normal" way. I will always have to work harder than regular people just to manage my weight, I will always need to bring a jacket with me where ever I go (even in 100 degree weather) just in case the A/C is turned down too low and my lips start to turn blue. I will always have to be extremely diligent in my food choices and preparation. And I will always have to exercise, A LOT! Because my body will always be battling me to get back to what it once was. And I will have to fight this battle every day for the rest of my life, because if I don't, if I let up even a little bit, my body will jump at the chance to start gaining again. And it will do so much more quickly than the average person simply because of the damage I've caused it. You know, it's like I've got all these plates up in the air, spinning like crazy, and my body is just biding it's time, waiting for the first one to come crashing down on me. It wants to get back to it's comfort zone, it was perfectly content to remain fat, because fat was all it knew. So here I come, messing it all up, taking away the brownies and ice cream and feeding it, gulp... VEGGIES! And making it move when it didn't want to. So what do I get in return? An insolent little child, rebelling against me at every turn. HA! I'll show you, it says. If you're gonna force me to be healthy then I'm gonna freeze your ass off and make you work twice as hard as normal people to stay that way! And when you do slip I'm gonna regain weight at lightening speed and make it even more difficult for you to take it back off again! What a bitch! Well fine then, if that's the way it has to be then bring it on, I've got a little bitch in me too!


Anonymous Jilly said...

Wow, what a difference that last couple of sentences made ~ I was becoming entirely depressed and despondent reading about the damage we thoughtlessly put our bodies through and what we have to do just to maintain what we've tried our hardest to make right. But then I read "Well fine then, if that's the way it has to be then bring it on, I've got a little bitch in me too!" and I felt the beginnings of a smile curl the corners of my mouth and an immediate lifting of my mood. Yeah, that's right - u go girl! I'm right behind you (although I'm sure to some I'm not even considered a "little" bitch ;)

1:35 AM  

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