Thursday, August 17, 2006

Oh man, did I ever bust my ass Wednesday night! Evil, evil roller skates! See, we humans were not meant to roll I tell ya! Ug, I’m in pain, lotsa pain. So why, exactly, was I on the bloody things in the first place you ask? Trying to relive my youth? Naaaah. Trying not to be shown up by my daughter? Hmmm, maybe? Perhaps because I’m mentally deficient in thinking that I have any business whatsoever in trying to navigate a slick floor on 8 wheels? Yeah, that sounds about right. No really, I decided to take Em out for one last day o’ fun before school stats next week just because I work from home and by golly, I can! No really, my new job didn't have work for me that day, and well, the church ladies can just live without me for one day, I’m sure. So knowing I was going to take the day off, I got Em up per usual and made her a bowl of her beloved, evil little Lucky Charms while her eyes began to glaze over as she tuned into Foster’s Home For Imaginary Friends (thank god she’s finally starting her expand her TV watching repertoire beyond SpongeBob!) Then, when I thought she’d had her fill, I turned the boob tube off and announced that I was playing hookey, and that we were going to have ourselves a mommy daughter fun day! Ahhh, you should have seen the glaze fall away from her eyes as they brightened in anticipation and excitement! That alone was worth the loss in one day’s pay! So, I said, waddaya wanna do? Wide-eyed blinking, anything? Yup, you pick! So after I picked her up off the floor, she got busy planning the day, while I fretted over how to let Bub know our plans without getting in trouble for anything. I ended up sending him an email, trying to sound as nochalant as possible, and letting him know how he could reach us if needed. The we got the hell outta dodge! First we went swimming at a local hospital owned gym that offers a first time free pass to use their facility, including the indoor pool and jacuzzi, so we took ‘em up on it! After that we stopped for lunch, then went back by the house to change, then we were off to spend the rest of the day in Little Rock (abt. 30 min away) doing what ever the hell we wanted to. Which included trying something that I’ve always wanted to do, but have never had the opportunity to try before; we went ice-skating!! Yes, I know I can’t roller skate, so how the hell am I supposed to ice skate? I dunno and I don’t care, I’ve always wanted to try it and that precisely what we did! And it was fun too! Em didn’t really care for it though, not like roller-skating anyway. Apparently it was too cold and too hard when you fall, according to her. But we had fun nonetheless, and she knew that we were just trying something new and if she didn’t like it then we could stop and do something else, no problems. She gave it a good hour, impressing me with how quickly she picked it up, while I teetered along the edge just trying to remain upright. We both had a few good spills onto the cold hard ice, but none worse for the wear. Then she declared that it was time to move over to the roller rink located in the same facility. CRAP! You don’t really neeeeeed me to go out there with you, do ya? You know I’ll just be scooting along the edge while you lap me over and over right? Yes mom, but I still want you to come, so let’s go already!! Oh, all right! And with that, my fate was sealed… Okay, so it wasn’t thaaaaat bad, but dammit, my butt hurts so it was a big deal to me! (whimper) So we both lace up and head on out there like I have some clue as to what I’m doing. And perhaps I was feeling a little bolstered by my better than expected ice skating experience, that I had the gall to think that just maybe I could figure this thing out. Humph, that’ll teach me! Off I went, brazenly ignoring the edge, and trying with all my might to find the rhythm that would allow my to roll free. Well, I found it all right, just before my ass found the floor. I knew I was gonna go, and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do to stop it. My wheels went out from under me and I landed (hard, then bouncing for good measure) square on my tailbone. And with as hard as I know I hit, it’s a wonder I didn’t break it, but I didn’t hear a break, and I am able to sit (gingerly) so I assume it’s only severely bruised. But OMG, did it ever hurt!! I had to just sit there a while, with tears stinging my eyes, wondering if I was even gonna be able to get up or not. But I did, then I found my way to the edge to hang on while a wave of intense nausea hit me along with a sense of an impending black out. Which thank goodness, I managed not to do, cuz the last thing we needed on our mommy daughter fun day was a trip to the ER via ambulance! Anyway, I sent Em off to skate some more, although reluctantly due to her concern for me, but I needed some time to collect myself and figure out if I could continue our day. But I decided to suck it up and not allow this minor setback to keep us from enjoying the rest of our day. So back out there I went, I’m guessing delusional from the pain, (how else could I explain my stupidity?) and continued “skating” as best I could. Then, after that, we hit the mall, namely Claire’s Boutique for the ultimate earring shopping experience. I let her agonize over; I mean pick out three pairs of earrings (buy 2 get 1 free, woohoo!) which, I swear, took her no less than a whole freakin’ hour! Good lord, tooooo many choices! We also stopped in at Dippin Dots, cuz, well how could we not? But I was good and refrained from indulging; only begging for a mere bite or two of hers. Then we went about our merry way, stopping in anywhere that caught our interests, and generally covering the entire area. We also picked her up another hermit crab, replacing the one that died shortly after we brought it home. I agonized over this one as well, knowing Bub had said he would get her another one, and not wanting to get in trouble for doing it without him. But I also knew we likely wouldn’t be back soon, so I thought it best to seize the opportunity while I had it. He ended up only chastising me for not calling him first, but generally wasn’t too tore up about it, whew! Anyway, after the mall, we wanted to go somewhere nice (and with cushioned seats!) to have dinner, but I guess the excitement of the day proved too much for Em and she spun a little out of control with her behavior and attitude. I allowed her some time to regain her composure, knowing what a sensory overload the day had been, but also showing my unwillingness to accept her belligerent behavior by way of stopping in our tracks and not going to the restaurant of her choosing after my warning of such a consequence going unheeded. She ended up calming herself down after realizing that she simply wasn’t going to get her way on this one, and we eventually made our way to dinner, although at a much less favorable choice. Oh well, you live, you learn… hopefully! Then we topped off our night at an awesome McDonalds playmaze that we just happened to spot on our way to dinner. I enjoyed some coffee, she enjoyed some playing, and then we loaded up and headed back home. Only stopping in at Walgreens to search for a butt pillow that would allow me to make it through the following days of sitting in front of the computer and attached to a phone with as little misery as possibe. And it has helped, but damn does it ever still hurt! Anyway, that was our day o’ fun. We both had a great time, sore ass notwithstanding, and I’m glad we had the chance to really take the day off before getting back to the grind of school and work.

Now, for my usual Bub update. So, here I am booking the roller rink for Em’s b-day party, and I need to check with Bub to make sure all plans are kosher with him, and it suddenly hits him that he’s gonna have to actually be in the same room as members from my side of the family, aack, gasp! Y’see, he’s never really liked my side of the family here in Arkansas, and to be quite honest, they’ve never really liked him either. Go figure. In fact, my brother and SIL are the ones who helped perpetrate my great escape almost four months ago Monday. I guess you could say that he expects to feel a tad uncomfortable at the party. So then starts the typical, world revolves around Bub, pity party, ug. This sucks, he says, I’m just thinking about what a horrible day I’m gonna have and how I can’t even be comfortable at my own daughter’s birthday party, and how I don’t want to have to put up with those people, and you know they’re gonna try to make nice and try to talk to me even though I know what they really think of me (heh, he doesn’t know the half of it!) and blah blah blah, woe is me, moan bitch moan! So, of course, I gently try to remind him (I know, why bother) that at least it’s not his special day seemingly being ruined, that it’s Em’s day and these are the people that she wants to celebrate it with. And what do I get? In a stone cold voice, y’know, that really doesn’t help. And then on some more, oh woe is me. Poor guy, y’know, you could always not come. Which I didn’t actually say, of course, but wouldn’t that be nice?! So how did I respond? Well the only way I know how of course, I hit the goddammed Lucky Charms the minute I hung up the phone. NICE! Y’know, I have to wonder… if he did me a favor and keeled over tomorrow, would my food issues magically be resolved? Hmmmm, let’s hope I find out… soon. Asshole. Anyway, I’m supposed to tell my SIL that she need not bother making nicey nice, as if she would care in the slightest. Um, okaaaaay, whatever dude.


Blogger illahee said...

i broke my ass, um, cracked my tailbone last summer. man, did that ever hurt! i hope you didn't break or crack anything in your tail, just a bad bruise. (my bum was still hurting three months after so i finally got an x-ray. nothing can be done, just suffer through it, though it's fine now.)

2:26 AM  
Anonymous Jilly said...

Ugh, Bub ... no point wasting my fingers typing about that idiot, but I'm always willing to listen (or read, I guess) when you need to vent. And boy, I can see why you need to vent!

Hope your poor tender li'l tailbone is healing up. Funny how Michelle Kwan makes it look so easy, isn't it? Mind you, when my daughter was competing she was always covered with bruises and after awhile her knee pretty much turned to mush. As you know, I've spent half my life in freezing ice rinks, but can barely make it around the ice myself without holding onto the boards!

Sure you don't want me to go to Myspace and arrange a date with bub for the day of Em's birthday party? I can register as a Little Rock woman in search of that special man who is willing to mold me into his ideal mate. (tee hee)

2:29 AM  

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