Saturday, October 27, 2007

Well, Bub is moving to Memphis next weekend to start his new job on Nov. 5th. Yes, his lady friend is moving with him, as predicted, and they’ve already been spying engagement rings. Our 18-month separation was marked on October 21 without even a second thought from me, for which I later pondered the significance, although not with much enthusiasm. I realized that I didn’t care, and quite frankly, I really don’t care that I didn’t care. We will be filing the papers sometime in November or early December, and once final he will be a free man to marry any unsuspecting and unprepared chick he pleases. He’s got it bad apparently.. real bad. He rambles on and on about what a changed man he is, and how life doesn’t phase him anymore.. how he can just go with the flow now without the unrelenting need to be right and be heard. He tells me of different scenarios with new chick and how differently he reacts to them in comparison with how he did with me. At first I found it amusing, then somewhat sad, and then... then I got fucking pissed. What gives him the fucking right to be laid back now? After the miserable hell he put Em and I through for so many years? He was a bastard, pure and entitled, narcissistic, whacked out BASTARD. And now.. NOW, he’s a changed fucking man?! Bullshit. And y’know what’s worse? I’m pissed that I’m pissed. Oh, and then he fucking apologizes like he’s this compassionate fucking asshole that he NEVER was because I accidentally let the wall crack a bit when the full force of this “changed man” BS he was spouting hit me in the form of those goddamned tears that I seem to have no ability to control. Pfffffft, fugetaboutit...who needs this shit? Who the hell knows how to lay brick, I have a wall to rebuild...


Blogger Wien. said...

No doubt you will rebuild it one brick at a time. Of course the reason that he's so different now is because he's not with you. Remember it was always your fault.
At least that's what my ex told me. He would have been this wonderful father/husband back then if only I had been a wonderful mother/wife...don't believe it. He's still the same Bub. She'll find out, unfortunately. Build your wall and protect yourself and Em from his mental b.s. It's still there, but he's just morphed it.

12:10 AM  
Blogger Sandi said...

It never ceases to amaze me that men change only after they are with someone else. It's almost like they are programmed one way with you and they can't (won't) change but because you left him for that shit, noooowwww he's learned his lesson and will change. Seen it a thousand times and still pisses me off each time!

(((HUGS))) Just another stepping stone. Just think, soon it'll be official.

Love Ya!


11:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wien's right...Bub hasn't changed a bit. He just knows how to work it. A master manipulator.

I feel sorry for that poor unsuspecting woman. She has NO EARTHLY IDEA what her life is about to become....

Thanks GOD you are outta there!!


7:45 AM  
Anonymous Lyn said...

Changed? I don't think so. The only thing I see changing is you and how you deal with and respond to Bub. You're doing fine. Keep up the good work.


12:19 PM  
Anonymous Aunt Sandy said...

I agree! Bub has not changed. Not really. He was nice in the beginning with you too. You wouldn't have been attracted to him otherwise. The new GF will see for herself eventually.
Keep doing what you are doing. You are doing great!
Hugs, Sandy

12:35 PM  

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