Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Play-date Wednesday

My daughter has some friends over for a play-date today. We've been doing this every Wednesday for Summer vacation, and she looks forward to it every week. I have to say, there is only one thing I regret about not having anymore children, the fact that she doesn't have a sibling to play with. She's lonely, and it breaks my heart. I know that not having more children was the right decision for me, yet I can't help but feel guilty for her solitude. My daughter has a fabulous imagination, playing for hours in elaborate story lines that she creates for her toys. And her absolute love of reading keeps us regulars at our local library. She has adapted well to our quiet way of life, yet I know she yearns for friends to play with more often. There's only so much time a girl and her mom can spend together without biting eachother's heads off! I am very aware of her need to run and play and feel free with other kids her age, but Summertime is hard for us since she doesn't yet have those one or two very best friends who want to spend all their time together. Unfortunately she's inherited my apparent disability to make friends easily, so a lot of our time is spent cooped up here in this house together. But I am constantly on the lookout for new activities we can try like arts and crafts projects, going to the park, play time at a local children's center that features a large indoor maze and ball pit. We've taken up bike riding (which is still pretty rocky) and evening walks around our neighborhood. I also continue her education during the summer months with weekly spelling words, math worksheets, book reports, etc. so that she will feel more prepared come Fall. I am lucky that she likes to learn and doing well in school gives her a great sense of pride and accomplishment. But I fear that her anti-social attitude (which I can only assume stems from being an only child) will prove to be detrimental in the years to some. I wish I knew how to teach the behavior and compassion that seems to come naturally when other children have been present growing up. But she doesn't know how to be any other way. I tend to worry a lot about being a good mom, if I'm teaching her the right things that will allow her to grow into the type of woman she wants to be. It's like I've got one shot at this, and I'm just so worried about screwing it up because there's no turning back time. What's the saying, you can't un-ring a bell? Yea, I've got to get this right, because if I don't, she's the one who's gonna suffer for it. Maybe I shouldn't be so hard on myself, but this responsibility I have for her is almost overwhelming sometimes. I just hope I'm doing the right thing, or at the very least the best I know how to do with what I have.


Post a Comment

<< Home