Monday, August 08, 2005

Fat day strikes again!

I don't know if I'm retaining water or if my more than normal dietary indiscretions have finally caught up with me, but I am feeling positively fat today! And I feel completely ridiculous in saying so because I feel as though I have no right to complain of a legitimate fat day after having been where I have. I should feel nothing but gratitude for the weight I have thus far maintained, yet the feeling does still strike me out of nowhere at times, rendering me totally self-conscious and self-critical. It also makes me a bit paranoid, like snacking on a few unplanned slices of cucumber just now is really gonna make that much of a difference in the grand scheme of things! It's astonishing how easily I can lose perspective when I'm not feeling particularly great about myself. I am definitely at odds with my inner fat chick today. She is strong, but I am stronger and I will prevail! (I think I can, I think I can, said the little Beverly that could!)

Speaking of cucumbers, this has become on of my new favorite veggies! I've always HATED cucumber, couldn't stand it, thought it tasted, smelled and looked nasty, but then a few weeks ago some of this atrocious, green vegetable came diced up in a salad I'd ordered without my knowledge. I knew something was different from the first bite, not bad different, just different. So I poked around and found the culprit belonging to the unfamiliar taste, a little, crunchy chunk of cucumber! My first response was, "ewwwww, I hate cucumber!" but then I realized that hey, that wasn't so bad! So I picked out a few more chunks and I gotta tell ya, I've been hooked ever since! Who'da thunk it? How exactly can one's taste buds change so quickly and easily? How do you go from absolutely despising something to eagerly craving it in an instant? I did that with sour cream and yogurt too. Great for the yogurt, not so great on the sour cream, YUM! Too bad I can't turn that switch off! Oh well, here's to an ever evolving palate.

In other news, my daughter was sick with a migraine last night. Unfortunately, she seems to have inherited my "broken head" as we like to call it. I felt so badly for her and helpless to do anything, other than offer my loving support and comfort. I hate that she had to get this particular trait from me, having suffered with migrains my entire life, I know the kind of misery she has in store. Perhaps the medications they have now are more advanced and will be able to offer her more relief than I could find growing up. I wonder if there is anything they can do for someone so young? I will definitely have to do some more research on that one and speak with her pediatrician about what options are available for children her age. My poor baby!! But she's feeling much better today, so all is well.


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