Sunday, March 19, 2006

It's very likely that Bub is gonna quit his job tomorrow (Monday) because of a falling out with his boss. Not 100% certain, but I wouldn't be surprised in the least if he did. I don't know what I'm gonna do if he quits. He'll be here all day, everyday. I just don't think I can take that again. I know there's nothing I can do about it at this point, 'cause he's gonna do what he's gonna do. Any time I try to express my concerns or reason with him, he just does what he does until he's sure that I completely agree and have no problems with his reasons. I have no choice but to support him or neither of us will rest until I do, as always. I'm scared he's really gonna do this and I don't know what I'm supposed to do if he does. Any chance I may have had for the "ripping off the Band-Aid" technique would totally be lost. And I know with all certainty that I simply don't have the strength or ability to confront him and tell him of my intentions in person. I just couldn't do it, there's no way. All I do know is that I had to get this off my chest somehow, so here I am. Oh god, what am I gonna do?


Anonymous Anonymous said...

If he decides to quit, will he give notice? Can you get out of the house before the resignation period is complete?

Good luck.

8:34 PM  
Anonymous Jilly said...

What an idiot he is! Would he really quit before having another job lined up first?? If he does give a couple of weeks notice, perhaps its a blessing in disguise and this will be your opportunity to take action right away. Do you have somewhere you could stay until you find something permanent (your dad's or brother's place)? Rent a truck, take what you need and work out the rest of the details later (you've probably thought out all the details in your head hundreds of times already anyway). You can't let his stupidity stop you cold now! ((((((Bev))))))

11:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bev, dear sweet Bev, do not give up. You can do this, you can get out. You need help to make a plan. Call Carrie. Let her help you. It's okay to need help, and it's okay to ask for it and to accept it. Your mom knows, your aunt Sandi knows, everyone loves you, you're going to be okay. Reach out.

10:38 AM  
Anonymous Aunt Sandy said...

I agree with anonymous #2. Call Carrie and get some advice and some help from that network of kindred spirits. They know where you are in this and they have probably been there. Even if you have to stay in a temporary location at first. It will be better than another stretch of Bub home day in and day out ready to lecture and humiliate 24/7. Don't let this stop you. You will be able to do this!
Hugs and more hugs.

12:02 PM  
Blogger Jen said...

Don't let this set you back. You are SO CLOSE!!! The same woman who lost 190 pounds can get you and your daughter to a safe place! Call Carrie and let her know what's going on.

2:15 PM  
Blogger Dawnyal said...

That is really scary Bev. I just couldn't imagine quitting my job like that without having something else lined up, knowing I was supposed to be supporting a family.

You can still do this. I agree that you need to call and get some support and help from the DV staff. I'm sure they've dealt with this type of scenario before and will know just what needs to be done to get you and EM out of there.

3:39 PM  
Blogger Joc said...

I agree with the others too, Call Carrie, she knows what to do in situations like this.

Also - take a deep breath, dont panic, he will pick up on panicky behaviour, and so will Em. Keep yourself calm and talk to your supporters, there will be a way.

Good luck.

12:09 AM  
Anonymous Lisa said...

If Bub didn't quit, or if he is forced to stay at work for a few weeks (notice) then don't waste any more time. There will never be a "perfect" opportunity. Start preparing NOW. If Em is home from school during the break: can you keep her out of the house at a friend's house or send her away to visit some relatives for a few days? Can you tell her you're cleaning out some old stuff/spring cleaning if you have to put stuff in boxes?

I dunno, but there has to be a way. People do this every day, I bet the people you went to visit the otehr day have some useful advice.

Because really, what's the alternative? To stay put while he is home all day, unemployed? To wait for him to get another job? When will that happen?

Oh, and if he really quits, that's the best thing that can happen to the future custody case/discussions: how's he gonna support and take care of Em if he quits his job on a whim?

9:04 AM  

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