Much to my surprise, b-day turned out pretty darn nice!

OMG! What a freakin' baby he is!! Sorry, deeeeep breaths... Okay, apparently he has no intention of ever going back to my fav restaurant again, which means none of us will be going, of course. Unless, that is, if I want to get a to-go box every once in a while, and just be willing to get him something else. Which simply isn't the same to me, and makes the experience monumentally less enjoyable. But that's just me being selfish and unwilling to compromise, according to him (whatever!). I suppose he expects me to be happy that I'm allowed to even get a to-go box after announcing that he will no longer eat there. So anyway, it was my b-day, and that's where I said I wanted to go, so this is his brilliant solution. He says, since it's your b-day, and I want to make you happy, (cough*bullshit*cough) I'll go there with you, but don't expect me to eat anything (no, he'll just sit there and sulk about me actually making him do such a rude and selfish thing, while being a total gripey asshole, and hurrying us along at every turn, oooooh what fun!) and then you can just get me something different to eat on the way home. But I'm only doing this cause it's your b-day, so don't expect me to ever go there again. Then he starts talking about how he doesn't feel good and how he wouldn't even want to eat right then anyway, regardless of where it was, so maybe you and Em should just go, and bring me back some Subway afterwards, and we'll just celebrate your b-day on another day. Uh, okaaaaaay?!?! I'm thinking, whatever about celebrating my b-day on another day, today is my b-day, by golly! But SURE, I'll leave his worthless ass at home and just take Em out to celebrate my b-day, that sounds like a dream come true! OMG, you should have seen the relief and happiness in my and Em's eyes! To be able to go out by ourselves, without having to worry about saying or doing something to get him started? That was like the best b-day present he could ever have given me!! So we quick, high-tailed it outta there before he could change his mind, and Em and I spent a relaxing hour or two at the restaurant eating gobs of sodium packed, sugar filled, fat laden Chinese heaven, just talking and talking about anything we like, and being fully and completely ourselves and at ease. Quite honestly, it was the best b-day I've had in quite a while. And we both hated for it to end, wishing we could just make a whole night of it and stay out doing something fun and girly together, but alas, all good things come to an end. He was expecting us back with some dinner of his own, and he wanted to play the new video games he just bought with Em. (what is it with boys and their video games?) So that was it, what was likely to be a completely ruined evening, turned out wonderfully, IMO. You know what's sad? Just now, as I was typing this, it dawned on me how pathetic my idea of wonderful has become. A couple of unexpected hours of me and Em feeling like we are free to be ourselves, is all it takes to make my day. There's just something soooooo wrong about that! Then, according to him, we celebrated my real b-day on Sunday (even though me and Em had already decided that our special night together was my true b-day celebration) with a tense and lecture filled round of miniature golf and dinner out at his favorite restaurant, cause that's what he's been craving. Asshole.

He also spent the weekend going over and over our plans for the future, AGAIN, making sure to pin me down repeatedly about how I feel about my role in his master plan. He needs constant re-assurance that I am just as enthusiastic as he, and that I understand the full magnitude of what will be expected of me as his "partner" in this, his latest scheme (oops, I mean business) which will allow him to quit his mean 'ol stinky job and work from home like he really wants. So, of course, he went over and over what will be expected of me (basically driving it into my head that I must do everything the right way, (his way) and not screw it up and let him down like I usually do) so that we will be able to actually make it all work, cause we're in this together, and he has to be absolutely sure that I'm completely, 100% on board. And honestly, I do feel guilty about continuing to go along with everything as usual, but not guilty enough to let on that I have even the slightest hesitation, cause oh dear god, if I were to give any indication of a problem, I might literally never hear the end of it. Maaaaaaan, he's gonna be so royally pissed when I drop my bombshell on him! That's why I have to find out what my options are, and make sure that I am completely prepared to follow through once I get the ball rolling. And under no circumstances should I be alone with him for any length of time once he knows, not that he would become violent, I just need to protect myself from his ultimate wrath of rage and manipulation. I also hope to institute a strict "no contact" policy once we're away from him, unless it's absolutely necessary and only then if it's something about Em that needs to be discussed. Anything else, he can contact my lawyer about, by god! Speaking of lawyers, as you know, my initial consultation with a local attorney is scheduled for Wednesday at 10:00, right? Well guess what? Wednesday is precisely the day when Bub has decided to take off from work. Honestly, it never fails!! So I guess I'm gonna have to re-schedule, unless I can think of a reasonable enough excuse to get me out of the house without him, but we'll see.

Em is home sick from school today. What started out as a regular headache yesterday afternoon, quickly escalated into an outright sick headache, complete with vomiting and the whole nine yards. My poor baby, I feel so bad for her! Especially considering she inherited this particular trait (we call it our broken heads) from me. I was up with her approximately every 45 min. to an hour last night, each time she was sick, just to hold her hair, comfort her, and wipe away her tears, and do what ever I could to somehow make her feel better, even though nothing helped. Today was the first of three days of mandatory Benchmark tests at school, which assess each student's performance and knowledge of the standard curriculum compared to that of other students nationwide. So, it's a pretty big deal, and something that she will have to make up sometime next week. But, in the mean time, I have parked her pitiful little butt on the couch with a trash can close at hand, and plan to baby her as much as she'll let me. So send some good vibes Em's way, she needs them desperately right now.