Thursday, March 09, 2006

Had to cancel anyway, but it's only a temporary setback, I promise

Well, what started out as a sick headache for Em, somehow morphed into a stomach bug. She just started vomiting with her headache (which is typical for both of us with these kinds of headaches) but then, couldn't seem to stop (very not typical!) She continued to be sick all day Tuesday, never once eating a morsel of food, (sooooooo not typical!) barely drinking anything, and pretty much stayed on the couch and slept intermittently throughout the day. She was definitely feeling better Wednesday morning, but after not eating anything for the past two days, she just wasn't strong enough (physically and mentally) to tackle school (especially since the Benchmark testing is still going on) so I kept her home again, just to give her poor little body some much needed time to recuperate. So even though Bub did end up going to work Wednesday, I still had to cancel my appointment. Bummer! But have no fear, I will be re-scheduling, no matter what! I also had to cancel an appointment I had scheduled for today with the local DV counselor whom I've been corresponding with via email, because Bub decided that he would take today off instead of Wednesday. UG! So two big steps that I've finally managed the courage to take this week, have gotten the kabosh, which totally sucks! But... rest assured Jilly, I'm choosing not to view these monkey wrenches as fate telling me to back off, rather, I'm acknowledging them simply as temporary setbacks, which I'm refusing to let phase me. Now, how do ya like them apples?? ;D So, even though I have no good news to report, I have no bad news either. It's still a letdown though, since I was kinda looking forward to getting some idea about which direction I should take in this whole mess. But oh well, now it's just a matter of time.

Now, on to other things. I've been noticing a disturbing trend lately, which may drastically affect my ability to keep my beloved Kashi Go Lean Crunch in the house, GASP!! I've become quite a nibble monster as of late, a concern I had briefly skimmed over in a previous post, which has now become a full fledged problem, IMO. I simply cannot seem to keep my hand outta the proverbial cookie jar, meaning that damn cereal box!! It's an addiction, I tell ya! And one that I've not yet had a problem with... until now that is. I've been eating my beloved Kashi for a few years now, I love the stuff, and wouldn't live without it. But, I've never once had a problem with getting into it when I shouldn't. It's always been my breakfast of choice and has remained strictly a breakfast food all this time. But lately, it seems every time I pass by, I have to dig into the box and grab a few crunchy morsels. I say I have to, but we all know I don't actually have to, I'm choosing to, and that's my problem. I realize that I'm driven to do it, and I've been allowing my self to act on that feeling, several times a day. Not good. I can plainly see old habits and thought processes slowly creeping back in, and I don't like it one little bit! I think allowing myself to be a little more lax with the food, in an effort to gain some extra padding, is what has opened the door to my reborn grazing tendency. It's like I can't even give myself an inch, or I take a mile! I suppose I need a Kashi intervention of sorts, but dammit! I just don't want to give it up cold turkey. I literally look forward to that crunchy goodness every single morning, and I'm simply unwilling to give it up. So, where does that leave me? Well, I guess it's time to go back to basics concerning my snacking and grazing tendencies. There's absolutely nothing saying that I can't remain completely on plan while continuing to work on the extra padding issue. I'll just have to focus on accomplishing said padding through slightly larger portions and higher calorie counts, rather than allowing old bad habits to invade the space of my newly formed good habits. So, that being said, it's time to put my foot down, and forbid myself from sneaking nibbles from the cereal box. I obviously can't handle the freedom I've allowed myself, at least with this particular indulgence anyway, so that's it, from here on out, no more!! Okay wait... I just had to get one more nibble. So now, THAT'S it, no more! Oh dear lord, give me strength! ;D


Anonymous Jilly said...

Glad to hear poor Emmy's feeling better. We've had exactly that up here (with kids and adults alike). It starts out as a terrific headache and becomes a stomach bug which passes within 48 hours. Give her a big hug and kiss from me!

I don't see the delayed appointments as signs that you should back off. Rather, I see it as the "powers that be" testing your resolve about proceeding. Re-schedule immediately, missy, and I'll pass you with flying colours!

As for the Kashi concern, at least its a healthy nibble addiction. I see your point though, even too much of a good thing can be a problem. Sounds like you have a good plan to deal with it though (you've come a long way, baby!)

11:32 AM  
Anonymous Aunt Sandy said...

Bev, So sorry to hear Em was so sick. Poor baby. Big hug from me.
Your resolve sounds pretty firm. I am absolutely sure you will reschedule. Do it quick though. The longer you wait the harder it may be.
Hugs and More Hugs,
Aunt Sandy

12:38 PM  
Blogger Jen said...

I'm with Aunt Sandy on this....the longer you wait the harder it will be. But you are STRONG--you will get through it!

1:49 PM  

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