I’ve been toying with the idea of hanging up my blogger hat for a while now. I’m sure you’ve noticed that posts have been fewer and farther between, mostly because the need to share my triumphs and tribulations has slowly left me over these months of freedom and awakening. This blog has undoubtedly served its purpose, providing an outlet, solace, understanding, support, my way out, and some pretty damn good free therapy. Were it not for this blog, I can safely say that I would still be living existing in my own personal hell. I would not have reached out to others had they not reached out to me first. I never would have been able to give a name to what was happening to Em and I, and I never would have told anyone, ever. Instead I would have quietly stayed, shrouded in shame, solitude and misery, never even allowing myself the hope that things could somehow be different. Were it not for someone dear to me unobtrusively following my plight and stepping in quietly, letting the cat out of the bag when I needed it most, well… I honestly don’t know how Em and I would have made it through this year had we spent it with Bub. In a sense, this blog saved us. It was certainly the catalyst for my opening up and eventual escape. It started out as a way to record my thoughts, so harried and scrambled in my mind. But now there is mostly calm and peace and honestly not much worth writing about anymore in my opinion. Sure, there will always be drama and special events in our lives, but quite frankly, I no longer feel that drive or urgency to lay it all out there, desperately seeking approval and validation anymore. I’m good now, I’m calmer, happier, and learning what it’s like to be me. I still struggle with my inner fat chick, I’m still a people pleaser, but these things are not new to me, and will forever be a part of me. So I’ve been questioning my reason for continuing, and I really wasn’t sure what I should do. So what did I do? I talked about it, that’s what, and out loud to boot. Gasp! Yup, I do that now, cool huh? I asked my mom for her opinion, as I now do more frequently and with greater honesty than I’ve ever done before. She’s my person as Yang would say, and I’m so grateful to have her. Anyway, she allowed me to see that not only the dramatic need be postworthy. That my boring ol’ life, calm and peaceful as it finally is, can still be postworthy, because it’s still my life. So here’s the plan; I’ve decided that this is no longer going to be the “Bub” blog that it has become, as I’m quite disinterested in allowing him to continue occupying so much space in my head. It will also cease to be a weight loss/maintenance blog, as that is no longer what defines me. This shall now be a “me” blog, boring, inconsequential bullshit and all. ;D Now, I can’t guarantee any renewed regularity in posting, but I can say that I plan on sticking around, and I do hope y’all will decide to stick it out with me.