Thursday, December 28, 2006

Happy holidays everyone! Well, better late than never, right? I had wanted to post such a message earlier, preferably before Christmas, but no such luck. Anyway, here ya go, the Christmas tree pics, tadahhh!! And look, you can actually see them, thanks entirely to the brand spanking new digital camera my mom and stepdad got me for Christmas, whoohoo! We wanted to make more ornaments, but quite frankly, this thing took way more time than I ever thought it would. But hey, at least we got the thing up before Christmas (Saturday to be exact).

Well, I thought we had ourselves a genuine Christmas miracle on Christmas day. There we are, all sitting around the table at Bub’s house after Christmas dinner (well, lunch actually) playing a rousing game of Canasta, when the phone rang with another possible buyer for the Durango. We do get quite a few calls on it, even though most don’t pan out. Anyway, this guy was saying that he wanted to buy it TODAY and take it home with a big bow on it for his wife as a Christmas present. Hot damn, an impulse buyer, YESSSSS! So we stop mid-game and head on over to give the dude a test drive. He definitely wants to buy and asks if we will take a check. Well sure, if you wanna wait til the check clears to take it home, otherwise, nadda. Okay, will you take a credit card? Why sure! Bub has that capability through PayPal or something because of his numerous (failed) business ventures. So he runs the card and there’s some problem with PayPal or the card not allowing that much to be taken at one time because it’s seen as a cash transaction or some crap like that. So no go again, bummer! In the end, the guy ends up writing a check and saying that he’ll pick up the car after we verify the funds the next day. Of course, he tried his darnedest to talk us into letting him take the car that day, reassuring us that the check would be good, and how much he wanted it to be a Christmas surprise for his wife, but we held strong and didn’t let him have it. Well low and behold, the check was bad. In fact, the bank said that this account number didn’t even exist! He gave us some crap about how he just opened the account and that the funds must not be available yet, yadda yadda yadda. Well if that was the case then how come he said to just forget about it rather than going down to the bank to pull out the cash or a cashier’s check?? Because the creep was trying to con us, that’s why! I guess he thought he’d be able to talk us into letting him have the truck that day, and when we didn’t maybe he thought we’d just deposit the check and he’d be long gone with the car before the check could bounce. I dunno, but I do know that I’m sick of this shit. It’s a nice car, can’t someone (legitimate) please just buy the damn thing, please?! Ug.

Well, I think I’m finally getting back on track with the eats. I realize that I don’t have the luxury of feeling apathetic about this one. Other stuff, sure, but not this. I’m going back to counting days of clean eats/abstinence, and so far so good. I still need to get back into exercise mode, but I’m certain I’ll get there. I remember how good and rewarding it feels, and I want that again. I understand that I really don’t have to be perfect, that every single bite doesn’t have to be meticulously controlled and accounted for. I know that I can do this in real life, in freedom and in peace. I know that I can do this because I am in charge of me. Not the food, not another person, not another thing, just me. So that's what I'm going to be working on; discovering a new normal, and figuring out what really works for the woman I am today, rather than the one I had turned into out of desperation. Hmmm, funny that this blog is titled finding me. Perhaps I'm actually starting to succeed a little, huh?


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