Free stuff and the craziness that is my step-mother.

Ahhh, my love of free stuff has finally paid off! The other day at my little women's day convention, I signed up for all sorts of give-aways, naturally. Well, today I got a phone call from Dalton's Dental office saying that I had won their drawing for free laser teeth whitening worth $500.00!! She said it's the same process they do on Extreme Makeover, to give me an idea of what to expect. I'm supposed to come in a few days prior to the laser treatment to get custom dental trays made for the follow up at home bleaching I'm to do as part of the process, which is also part of the free package. I am sooooo excited! I don't win things very often and I could really use some teeth whitening due to my massive coffee addiction. Also, I love that I'll be getting custom made dental trays since my teeth are so crooked, and it's usually quite cumbersome to use most of the OTC teeth whitening products because of this. So, it looks like my obsession with free stuff has finally been validated, oh god, I think I've created a monster!

So, here's an interesting little insight into my step-mother's state of mind, as related to me by my brother's wife. She called me yesterday specifically to pass this story along because she knew I would laugh my ass off about it as much as she has the last few days. She was shopping at WalMart with my infant nephew, along with her sister and her sister's baby, when she spotted my step-mother. Naturally she tried to avoid the woman due to her loud and obnoxious personality, (I can't say that I blame her) but to no avail. She swears that the woman must be equipped with a radar tracking device of some sort. Anyway, they were trapped with no way out so my step-mother proceeded to engage them in one of her notoriously long and rambling conversations about nothing of substance. Then, at some point, they got on to the subject of babies, of course, being that two were present at the time. So she starts going on about how she's always wished that she could have had a baby with my father, but being that they've both been "fixed" and were in their mid forties when they married, it just wasn't meant to be. But she was gushing about it (as she tends to do) and expressing her regret at the missed opportunity, and then she said the following sentence, (keep in mind, she's speaking to my brother's wife) "Can you just imagine what a baby of Calvin's would look like? With those big brown eyes and all that curly brown hair?" Uh... hello! My SIL was at a loss for words, being that she is, in fact, married to one of Calvin's children! OMG, this woman is such a moron! And you wanna know the real kicker? Neither my brother nor myself even look like our father! So, obviously, he doesn't make babies with big brown eyes and curly brown hair anyways! Now, I know what she meant by it, she was thinking a baby of theirs together. But that's not what she said! I told my SIL (after picking myself up off the floor) that it's like she's trying to block the fact that our father ever had children without her, out of her mind. Like she wants him all to herself and doesn't want to think about him having a life before her. Oy vei! But, as I've mentioned before, this woman has some serious "issues", so who knows what could be going on in that brain of hers?! Anyway, I just thought I'd pass that along, since I got such a kick out of it!