Saturday, August 20, 2005


To Jilly: Intellectually, I know that I need to "add a little padding" but I just don't know if I can or even really want to. Just the thought makes me nervous. I wasn't as comfortable in my clothes 10-15 lbs. ago. Since I have to allow room for the skin, my clothes are usually too snug in some areas and hanging off of me in others. And now they just seem to fit better in this smaller size. I feel comfortable at this weight, but this weight includes all of that skin which reflects in my overall appearance. If I did have 10 or so pounds of skin removed I would definitely strive to gain back to my current weight, regardless of how difficult it would be for me mentally because I would know that I would look better and feel better in my clothes at the same time. But right now I feel frozen because I don't want to be uncomfortable in my clothes again but I also don't like how thin I appear. I'm at a loss here, and when I'm indecisive I tend to do nothing, which does me absolutely no good at all. Oy vei!

On to other things. Well, the first day of school went off without a hitch! She was veeeeery nervous at first, but said once she got back in the groove of things, she loosened up tremendously. She loves her new teacher, Mrs. French, as do I. She's a young, upbeat, witty, no-nonsense kind of lady, and I think her style is going to make for a very pleasant year. But the day proved to be a long one, and my sweet girl came home with quite a headache (I figured she would, she is my daughter ya know!) so off to bed early she went to try to recuperate and now all is well again. She's just as bright eyed and bushy tailed, and ready to take on the world as ever! And... in the mood to test her momma today! That one day reprieve hasn't quite been enough yet. ;) Tell me again whose stupid idea it was to start school on a Friday??

So, apparently some belt thingy is falling apart in my car's motor. It started making a clicking sound yesterday afternoon, so we had a car savvy friend check it out. When finished he handed me a part of the belt thingy he found during his inspection that was hanging off. Not good! He volunteered to fix it for us (THANK GOODNESS!) and said he would be by to do so this afternoon. So, right now I am without transportation, which is a horrible feeling. Not that I have anything pressing to do, I just like knowing I can go somewhere if I want or need to.

I'm also feeling unnecessarily cranky and sullen once again today. Probably related to the afore mentioned lack of reprieve I was so looking forward to, and haven't been able to fully appreciate as of yet. Hopefully my sour mood will lighten as the week progresses, and we settle more comfortably back into our regular schooltime routine. Next Saturday I am looking forward to a special "day for women" expo that's being held here locally. I'm told it will include all sorts of samples and prizes and free give always like mini massages and facials, along with numerous booths pandering every imaginable womanly product and service available. Ahhh, sounds heavenly, I can't wait! Plus, ya know how much of a sucker I am for free stuff!! I've already scheduled it with my husband (which I will need to remind him of) so that I can have the day to myself, sans Emmy. Assuming, of course, that he actually wakes up at a decent enough hour for me to still attend, which is a feat that will remain to be seen. So, keep your fingers crossed for me, will ya?

Well, my daughter just informed me that she's produced a delectable array of Play-Doh cakes and pastries, of which we must partake quickly before they all dry out. So, I'm off to indulge in the treats of her imagination. Hey, at least they are calorie free, right?!


Anonymous Jilly said...

I see your dilemma more clearly now, Beverly. Ummm, so I guess we're really going to have to put the pressure on Dr. Phil's producer now to choose you for a skin removing body makeover! :)

11:03 AM  
Blogger Sarah said...

I get it, too, Beverly. It's a bit of a quandry, and I think I'd probably find myself at a standstill as well. I'm with Jill -- not only would it solve your problem and help you out in all sorts of other ways, it would also delight you in your love of free stuff!

Ok, so who do I call?

3:53 PM  

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