Monday, November 06, 2006

I got a nice little scam in the mail today. It was a real, bonafide check for $3,300.00 from a real company and written off a real bank account. The notice said I had won $200,000.00 in some supposed contest I had entered and the $3300 was to cover the “non residential government taxes”. All I had to do was deposit the check and send a money gram back and then they would send the rest of my winnings, woohoo! Oh puhleeeeeze! I looked up the company that was on the check and found it to be an actual company in MD that does heat and A/C, so I called them and asked to speak with the manager. Right away she asked where I was calling from because apparently they’ve been getting calls from all over the country. Some scam artists gained access to their bank account and has been sending checks out in their name right and left. She said they were able to close the account before they lost any money, but all these people who don’t know any better are depositing the phony checks which subsequently bounce, but not before they’re out all that money. >:( Anyway, she thanked me for the call and I wished them luck. Then I quickly shot off an email to one of the local news stations in case they want to let others know about this, and after that I called my MIL to warn her knowing that she would have deposited the check in a heartbeat had she received one as well. That was pretty much my excitement for the day, can ya dig it? ;D

We took Em out for her excellent report card reward this weekend. We went to a place in Little Rock that has miniature golf, racetracks, bumper boats (in the summer), paintball, batting cages, and an arcade. We did the racetrack, mini golf, and played some arcade games. The racetrack was pretty cool because Em and I were able to get a double seater and enjoy it together. Bub just watched cuz he didn’t think the little racecars would support his weight, gee, bummer. ;D The mini golf was typical mini golf with Bub, tense and stressful with many “I hate daddy!” and “he’s mean!” whispers from Em. Ug. I’ll have to bring her back by ourselves one day so she can enjoy herself like she should be able to, poor kid. Then we took her over to the mall where she got to pick out some new earrings. She was on a mission for hoops, not too big and not too small. Of course we found the perfect pair at Claire’s, the earring mecca of malls everywhere. Then, on the way home, Em conveniently forgot all of the day’s stresses and announced that she wanted to stay the night at daddy’s! Huh? Okay, whatever chick. So we grabbed some stuff and I dropped them off at his house after we got back into town. I was supposed to pick her up at 4:00 on Sunday, but she called long before that asking to come home early. No problem. Except now I’m seeing a definite pattern of acting out after spending long periods of time with him. It’s my opinion that she spends so much time trying to be perfect and repressed that once she gets home she has the need to comfortably let go and be herself… to the extreme at times. So, in the middle of a typical post daddy’s meltdown, I was holding her and telling her that I’m glad she feels comfortable enough to express her feelings, but that she has to work on the proper way to do so without yelling, acting out, and being disrespectful. Then she just kinda stopped and said that she does it because she can with me. Because she knows that I’m not gonna get mad and yell and scare her and stay mad and punish her the way daddy does. And that she’s too scared to act like that in front of daddy because she knows how he’ll react, but she knows she’s safe with me. She also said that she knows I don’t deserve it, but sometimes she just gets so worked up that she doesn’t know how to control herself. Anyway, we’re working on getting a game plan together to help her recognize when she’s starting to lose control, and to help her regain control on her own. Unfortunately there’s nothing I can do about Bub being Bub, so I guess we’ll just continue working around it as best we can. I often wonder what she’d be like today had I left him when she was a baby like I know I should have? Trying not to kick myself more, just… wondering…

2 Comments:

Anonymous Aunt Sandy said...

Poor Em, and poor you. It seems that Bub is still effecting you two even though you have moved out. So good to see you two working things out so well and recognizing cause and effect. That's half the battle.

11:10 AM  
Anonymous jilly said...

Congrats on the great report card, Em!

Bev, darling, I still do that. My daughter is 28 and I left when she was 7. I was originally going to leave when she was just over a year, but didn't. I should have. It would have saved us both a hell of a lot of emotional pain. But you can't change the past and while you'll always dwell on it at times (as I do) at least you finally DID do it. It would only have gotten worse if you'd waited, so just keep that in mind. You did it as soon as you felt you were able to, that's the important thing. It may be difficult at times, but it'll shape the person she'll become in positive ways as well. Plus, she'll thank you for it. Trust me. :)

8:46 PM  

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