Em’s been with Bub for a few days so I’m all alone and I must admit I’m feeling somewhat blue. Not sure why but I’ve been re-living stuff and it hasn't been fun. It was super bad Wednesday night, I couldn’t sleep, and my mind wouldn’t let me rest. Rehashing old crap, feelings, and events from the Bubba years. It sucks when you can’t get out of your own head long enough to get a decent night’s sleep. I’m okay though, its just stuff. I've been watching movies, reading and listening to music to pass the time. I went to see I Am Legend today, fantastic! I'm dying to read the book by Richard Matheson now, which I probably should have done first, but oh well, its too late now. I'm reading A Time To Kill by John Grisham and The Odessa File by Frederick Forsyth right now, I also read The Afghan by Forsyth a few weeks ago which I would highy recommend as well. And then I have The Waitress rented for tonight, which I have a feeling will be difficult for me to watch, but I seem intent on torturing myself that way, so there you have it. My baby returns home tomorrow (Saturday), thank goodness. Then perhaps things can get back to normal and I can stay outta my head for a while. We'll see...

Em called me on the sly last night upset, she feels badly for new chick because, as she put it, things are exactly the same for her as they were for me. She told me how daddy talks at new chick for hours and she just says yes dear blankly or curls up in a ball. The only difference is that he sometimes does his “talking” in their room with the door closed (he didn’t typically bother to hide it when lecturing me) and that they smooch afterwards (something we never did for the last 10 years or so). She even feels a little bad for Bub since she knows he’ll have to go through another breakup eventually, but not too bad because he’s doing this to himself. She’s a smart one that girl. But mostly she’s sad for new chick because she likes her and she’s seen first hand what Bub can do to a person. Em knows new chick has been through some pretty bad relationships and she says it’s not fair that she’ll have to go through it again with daddy. She doesn't deserve another mean man momma, it’s not fair. No baby, it’s not fair.