Thursday, January 10, 2008

Jen, for people as big as we are/were the motives must cease to be aesthetically driven and focus primarily on the health benefits. Not that the aesthetic benefits are not apparent as well, especially on the outside. But the cold hard truth is that there is little possibility of morbidly obese people ending up with what could be considered a “normal” body beneath the clothes, at least not without reconstructive surgery. It sucks monkey nuts but that’s just the way the cookie crumbles. It’s a hard pill to swallow and simply not one that I’ve managed to get down as of yet. But despite that, the incredible increase in quality of life after substantial weight loss far outweighs the suckiness of saggy skin. I didn’t mean to diminish the important aspects of getting our health on track, I was simply bitching and moaning (again) about the damage I’ve done by consistently choosing brownies over a long, energetic life. Too bad those don’t come in chocolate too huh? ;-) Point is, it scares the shit outta me that I may actually have to allow someone else to see me nekkid again eventually, thus the reoccurrence of the woe is me, kicking myself for what I’ve done crap. If I could have surgery after I re-lose some of this weight I would in a heartbeat. And the fact that surgery will likely never be a possibility really challenges my motivation. But dammit, I gotta do it anyway, we all do, cuz that’s just the way it is. Capisce?


Blogger Wien. said...

I understand your situation. Both of my parents were heavy, dad 500 plus lbs and mom way over 300. They both lost weight and went the surgery route to remove excess skin. I battle the weight issue too and even at my thinnest I still felt uncomfortable accepting my body. It's my life stuggle I guess.
One point I would like to make is, the right person will not see you how you see yourself. He'll love you for the entire package, inside and out. Hopefully your blush will be one of those keepers.

10:01 PM  
Blogger Navigator of Life said...

Blushing is such a great feeling; enjoy it for what it is. I know it's stupid for me to say that how you feel about your body is wrong, crazy, unnecessary, or any of that. You are the one living in your body and you have the right to feel the way you do. I just wanted to say that we are our biggest critics and the ones who love us are our biggest fans. They do not see us in the same light that we see ourselves. Most likely he will see and appreciate the blush more than anything.


1:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Capise. I guess maybe in my head I was trying to choose the lesser of the two evils.

And you are right of course--what good is a slim trim body if you have a bad ticker or diabetes that will shorten your life? It makes more sense to have a healthier body than a prettier one.

Sorry if my original comment sounded pissy. I had really been struggling with my program that day and your post hit me hard. But since you are on the other side, I can trust your vision much better than mine.



3:34 PM  

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