Sunday, June 03, 2012

In time

We went to see MIB3 today, best bad ending I've seen in a while! Definitely left the theater with a happy feel good. It was also the first time Em had been out of the house in nearly a week and a half as school is now out for the summer. I need to make a point of dragging her out more often, the isolation reeks havoc with her mental illness. She was anxious, paranoid and alternately on the brink of hysterics and giddiness. During her hospitalization last summer I came to a very sobering realization that she may very well never be able to function "normally" in society, and that I may in fact have to care for her the rest of my life. We try to live as if she'll go off to college after high school, settle into a career and even have real adult relationships someday. But do I truly believe that's what her future holds? Well some days are harder than others, but I have hope, even if that's all I have at times. Perhaps the epilogue to this memoir, should it ever become one, can be a happily ever after of sorts. Or perhaps it will simply be broken into two parts; one for Bub and our journey through and out of hell. And one for Em; dealing with the aftermath and navigating her mental illness. They really are two separate stories at this point, though intertwined as they may be. It's food for thought for sure, I just don't know if I still have it in me to get the second half down on, well...keyboard actually, lol. I'm tired, and the thought overwhelms me, but I know it must be done. In time...


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