I rented Crash to watch while on my Gazelle over the weekend, and I just had to mention it here in case anyone has been considering watching it and hasn't gotten around to it yet, go out and get it tonight! Although, I wouldn't recommend watching it while trying to work out, hysterical sobbing and exercise just don't mix well together, IMO. But, hey, whatever floats your boat, right? Anyway, the movie was profound and deeply moving, albeit disturbing all at the same time. I guess I say that because the different prejudices and stereotypes that we all secretly harbor are never more easily recognized than when they are so blatantly displayed in such a matter of fact way as in a movie like this. It was gripping, yet so hard to watch as each of the character's lives became intermingled in ways that you never would have given a second thought to otherwise. People can be so nonchalant about their words and actions, never even considering the affect they may have on those around them, or the chain reaction that it can start in each of those individual's lives as well. At any rate, I thought it was excellent and I highly recommend it. So go on, scoot on down to the movie rental place, I'll wait here while you go...

There, now isn't that better?! Tee hee, can you tell work's been a little slower today? Yeah, I really don't need to be left with too much time on my hands, not good! Oh, I almost forgot, I discovered a new found love for cauliflower over the weekend as well! I know, exciting stuff, huh? But really, I don't know what's gotten into me lately. I've realized that I'm turning into an actual veggie lover! OMG, say it ain't so! This sooooo isn't me, really, you have no idea the depths to which my utter distaste of anything veggie-like has previously run. Literally, the only veggies I would eat were celery (sometimes), carrots and corn, and I'm not even sure if corn still counts as an actual veggie or not anymore, but rather a starch! So how is it that I now crave things like cucumber, cauliflower, broccoli, and spinach? Who is this veggie lovin' freak that I've turned into?? I don't know, but it's totally weirding me out! Especially when I realize that my new idea of a binge is eating an entire head of cauliflower in one sitting, which I haven't actually done (yet), but sadly, think is entirely too possible. Good lord, my food issues never cease to amaze me. Now, in addition to my crazy food stuff, I seem to be completely insatiable lately as well. Not that I'm actually hungry per se, rather I just want to nibble and snack constantly! Definitely not a good thing, especially considering the way I've been trying to relax about my food lately. But seriously, I just can't seem to get enough! It's that damn cauliflower, I tell ya! JK! But it's other stuff too, like the fat free cool whip tub in the fridge has been calling to me, where usually I never even give it a second thought. Or the left over Oreo Cookie cake that me and Em made for the Thanksgiving at my SIL's that has been giving me pause like I've not experienced in quite a while. (which reminds me, I must remember to throw that damn cake out!) But I've always said that I feel lucky that I don't generally crave my old standard junk food much anymore, and I think the only reason I am starting to have problems with this is because I've been allowing myself more freedom with the types of foods I eat lately. So, you see my dilemma here? I can see that vicious little cycle, just waiting to draw me back in, and I'm worried because I can feel that I'm on a slippery slope here, just white knuckling my way through. Of course it may very well just be my perception of starting to lose control due to my conscious choice to try to be more "normal" with my eats. And we all know how much change tends to freak me out! So all of this crap could very well just be in my head, but one thing's for certain, I am definitely snacking/nibbling more than I used to, and I'm definitely struggling more because of it. That damn cycle, ugh!

In other news, I received a bit of disturbing information last night. My SIL called to tell me that my aunt (on my dad's side) has been diagnosed with advanced colon cancer, and will need a colostomy along with any other regular cancer treatments. My Papaw (my dad and aunt's father) was struck with this particular infliction as well, and since it apparently runs in families, her doctor is urging everyone from this side of the family to be tested also. Damn the crappy genes on my father's side of the family!! Needless to say, I'm begging my step-mother to make my father go for a colonoscopy regardless of his homophobic aversion to anyone or anything coming in close proximity to his rear-end. Have I mentioned that my father has "issues"? Yeah, so we'll just see how that goes. My SIL said she's also gonna make my brother go, even though he's still relatively young for such a test (31), but she's kinda freaky about this kind of stuff, so she'd rather be safe than sorry. I don't guess I can blame her for that, even though I'm sure my brother wouldn't even consider being tested now if it were soley up to him, but it's not so he'll do what he needs to in order to keep her sometimes freakily irrational fears at bay. Speaking of her irrational fears, I won't even get started on how she is when there's a threat of bad weather outside, that would take an entire post all by itself! But lemme just say, it ain't pretty!