Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Okay, time to change gears (although inside pics are still to come, I promise!). Y’all know how I’ve always said that there isn’t really anything that I want to be when I grow up? No real passion for something that I wish I could make a living doing? I mean, I’ve toyed with different ideas (L&D nurse, a small business venture involving the maternity field, writing, etc.) but I’ve never had the gumption to follow through on anything. Well, I guess its time to follow through on something cuz I think I’ve figured out what I want to be when I grow up, but it’s gonna mean going back to school to do it. Now don’t get me wrong, I feel so lucky to have the opportunity to work from home right now, especially while Em is young, but I know I can’t do this forever. My two work-from-home jobs, while the pay is adequate, are unbelievably mind numbing, unfulfilling, and totally dead end. And now that I finally have a real future to look forward to, well, I guess I’ve acquired this burning desire to actually make something of it. Anyway, I’ve known for a while now that I want to help people in some capacity, although how, I was never quite sure. But given my experiences and realizations over the last few years, I’ve come to the conclusion that my purpose would best be served as a child/family advocate. So I’ve decided that I want to be a social worker, specifically a family services or child welfare agent, which requires at least a BA. I know that it’s a hard job with crappy hours and not so great pay, and I’m definitely worried about my ability to handle the stresses and heartache that are sure to come with it, but I also know that this is something I have to do. Ever since the idea came to me, I haven’t been able to put it out of my head, much as I’ve tried. See, I have it pretty darn easy right now. Nothing to challenge me or make me work for aside from setting up house, paying the bills, and trying to raise a precocious little girl into a strong and independent young woman. And for much of my life that was all I needed, always being the type to do just enough to get by. But to be quite honest, bare minimum just ain’t cuttin’ it for me anymore. I need more, and not just in the sense of more financial security and stability like a degree would afford, but more fulfillment in general. I need to do what I can to help others, especially those who can’t help themselves. To save a child, to help a family, to make a difference somehow. You see? I just have to now, how could I not? So, that brings me to the logistics of it all. I have to find out if going back to school would even be possible right now financially and time-wise, so I plan to set up an appointment at the local college to see what my options are, and then take it from there. And I figure that by the time I actually finish a four-year degree, Em would be old enough to handle the irregular hours that this job requires. So, there ya have it, a plan, something to work for. I feel like I’m in this mode of line ‘em up and knock ‘em down right now, and I gotta say, I like it. I remember writing how endless the possibilities seemed a year ago, right after the great escape, but I don’t think I really appreciated just how true that statement was. I really can do almost anything now, and with the will and a way, the possibilities truly are endless.


Anonymous Sandi said...

Well how about that!! Talk about personal growth!!

I think that's an awesome idea and I think you'd do really well!!!

(((HUGS))) You've come a long way baby!!!

1:26 PM  
Anonymous Dawnyal said...

Look at the title of your blog! You truly are finding yourself. I agree with Sandi. I think you would be great at that. I know a lot of the colleges around here will work around your work schedule and geared toward the older student (not calling you old but I know you are above the 18-21 crowd ;) Good luck with it!!

3:52 PM  
Anonymous Jill said...

That's just great and totally suited to your personality, wisdom, sense of humour and sensibilities! Its quite a life change and will take lots of planning, but is totally doable and I'm excited to hear about your progress towards this goal. You go girl! xox

P.S. - love the house pics so far, more please!!

P.P.S. - Dying to know Bub's reaction to your home ownership ;)

12:39 PM  

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