My daughter wrapped her arms around me tonight before bed and said, “I love you mommy, you’re the best mommy ever. I appreciate everything you do for me and I’m so glad to be home.” Then she said, “I’m sorry for disrespecting you sometimes, you don’t deserve it.”

I have an awesome kid.

She’s off to my brother and sil’s house tomorrow and will stay til the middle of next week. Swimming, fishing and playing nonstop with her cousins while I face Bub at the emergency custody hearing. My lawyer attached his police reports to the claim and explained that he’s psychotic not well and wouldn’t allow her to come home or have phone contact with me when she was there last week. I am confident that this custody issue will be a no brainer. It’s nice to feel such confidence.

A social worker from child protective services came to interview us per Bub’s ridiculous request since I'm so obviously an unfit mother. She was here all of 10 minutes. Apparently he told her that I hit Em in the head with a door and there were bruises and scratches on her face. I was dumfounded… and so was Em. I didn’t think he’d make up a blatant lie, but then again I didn’t think he’d hold my daughter hostage against her will either. The social worker found the claims unsubstantiated of course and told me the case would be closed right away. She wasn’t actually supposed to tell me that but I guess she thought the whole thing just as ridiculous as I did.

Apparently Bub told Em horrible things while she was there. He had her convinced that I would go to jail if I tried to do anything to interfere with what he was doing. So much so that she almost didn’t come with me when I went to get her for fear of what would happen to me. He talked to her about everything I’m doing wrong and how it hurts her, and that I don’t really care about what’s in her best interests. He spoke badly and loudly of me a lot apparently. He also told her that she is mentally unstable and that he planned to put her in a facility where doctors could fix whatever is wrong with her, and that I would go to jail if I tired to interfere. She wasn’t allowed to go anywhere or do anything by herself, including using the bathroom. He made her follow new chick everywhere she went, so if new chick was sitting at the computer then Em had to sit next to her, if new chick took a nap then Em had to lay down with her. At one point Em called him a psycho, for which she was punished and sent to her room. At least she got to go there by herself.

She’s having nightmares now. Vivid dreams of being imprisoned in that nasty little trailer, unable to escape. There are bars on the windows and doors in her dreams and she feels hopeless and helpless. She doesn’t want to go back there and she’s not sure if she even wants to see him again. She’s only talked to him once since she’s been home. He was angry with her and blamed her for what happened. Apparently new chick told him that Em opened the door when I came to get her (which they were both sternly warned not to do under any circumstances), but it was actually new chick who opened it. I guess she was just trying to save her own ass from Bub’s wrath. Anyway, Em got off the phone quickly after that and hasn’t asked to speak with him again. I really didn’t think he’d be angry with her, how could he be so stupid? Unbelievable. But that pretty much cemented her newfound opinion of him so hopefully we won’t have to go through this again. Only time will tell. Anyway, I’ll explain more about the covert operation of getting her back and all that led up to it another time, I just don’t feel like it yet, so stay tuned.

God, why did she have to have such a fucktard for a father? *kicking self squarely in ass. When you know better you do better right? Fine, lesson learned, bleh.